Lectures, tutorials, homework and more work. Whoever tries to bring in the phrase "carpe diem" should GTFO of JC life, there's no way I can properly seize any day, any time now. I come home everyday, sapped of strength, and the bed is like a prostitute to a man high on pure cocaine. Breaks turn into 5, 8 hour slumbers, leaving me to wake up at 6 am, cursing as my unfinished homework invades my line of sight. I slack, I struggle, only to slack again, as I search in vain for goals, encouragement, aqua vitae, or anything else able to get my act together, anything that can get me focused, anything that can justify my existence in TJC, anything at all...
I bet fate must be laughing his arse off right now, for I am now Richard, Duke of Gloucester, and the words "Despair and die!" are turning into an earworm that threatens to turn my sanity into mush. PI's a killer no doubt, adding to my troubles in that hated game of unknowns and numbers, godforsaken math, and OAC (how I loathe, yet love that volatile activity). Yet, I must push on, I cannot let myself down just yet. I have come so far, not to fucking give up. I do not want to be exhausted, I do not wish to run, with massive stitches and tears rolling down my cheeks as the finishing line comes into view, a mile away, but I will, till I can shout "It is done!" and collapse onto the ground, sobbing like a girl from the pain and satisfaction.
The journey will be hard, life isn't easy anymore, time to drag my body and abuse it until it gets the message to stop complaining and get a move on.
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