Finally, got to do something that is significant.

Today...no, make that yesterday, woke up at six plus, all tired and aching. Had a miserable shower before a meagre breakfast that preced the lugging of my NPCC uniform to school along with my backpack, all before 0700, all because of one thing, TJC's National Day "Parade". And I am the Parade Commander, something that I never was in my days in BV NPCC. All the trainings and uniform preparations would have to pay off then, or I was to have another cock-up to haunt me for the rest of my life.

Less than 30 minutes, following a last minute rehearsal, I was standing at rest, alone, in front of the rock wall, trying not to move an inch while waves of TJCians moved to the assembly grounds. Most of them left me alone, but a couple of PRCs just had to act like fucking idiots around me, no offence, but oh how I wish I could just shoo them away like flies, thank goodness they left before my patience ran out.

What happened next after the ceremony started would be too long-winded a story, but I do remember the details properly. The anxiety that gripped me at the start. The first few commands being accompanied by a shivering right knee. I think my voice cracked once or twice. And the damned microphone prevented me from doing my stationary drills properly (I did my best), I should have anticipated its presence. Still, I guess I did, at the very least, reasonably well for my role as a PC, especially when this was the first, and probably last time I will have such a role.

As I marched off the parade grounds with the flag party, I felt so proud of myself. I finally did something significant, especially when it's in front of the whole school. Of course, the praises I've received were not just the mere icing on the cake, not that I got many of them, but they mattered so much to me. I might sound like an insecure son of a bitch, but they somehow indicated that I am someone who mattered, someone who is not exactly excellent at, but at least capable of doing something right. Hey, it's not everyday when Mr Tan would come up to you and said something that probably contained the words "impressed" and "surprised the whole class". I guess this success kind of made up for that awkward experience I had during the concert afterwards, when I sat alone at the back of the hall. And besides, I had two outings with my ex-classmates after that.

Right now, I am exhausted, time for me to catch some Zs, especially after today's...pleasant...success.