Ah, my very 1st overseas trip in my JC life is just a few hours away, unless I get into some sort of trouble which will indeed fuck my life up. Packed almost everything I need, clothes, torches, cellphones (yes, more than one), batteries, camera, toiletries, guts, enough plastic and ziploc bags to madden a Greenpeace activist and whole lot of other stuff. Seems like I am actually beginning to enjoy OAC, especially after yesterday's PT (improved my 5.7 km by 10 minutes, ah...my stamina, how I love you so). I do hope this will be enjoyable and challenging at the same time (if it's the latter only then my urbane body will turn into a fucking carcass), with all the abseiling, caving, trekking and shit, I just hope we do not get tekan-ed during the whole expedition.
Besides, even if this was shit, at least it would take my mind off yesterday's history and maths tests (fucking horrible little motherfuckers, I think you have an idea on how I fared now). Will stop here now, better get on with my preparations, be back in a few days (if I do get back :P).
Thursday, April 21, 2011
Sunday, April 17, 2011
So long a journey, so painful the agony.
Lectures, tutorials, homework and more work. Whoever tries to bring in the phrase "carpe diem" should GTFO of JC life, there's no way I can properly seize any day, any time now. I come home everyday, sapped of strength, and the bed is like a prostitute to a man high on pure cocaine. Breaks turn into 5, 8 hour slumbers, leaving me to wake up at 6 am, cursing as my unfinished homework invades my line of sight. I slack, I struggle, only to slack again, as I search in vain for goals, encouragement, aqua vitae, or anything else able to get my act together, anything that can get me focused, anything that can justify my existence in TJC, anything at all...
I bet fate must be laughing his arse off right now, for I am now Richard, Duke of Gloucester, and the words "Despair and die!" are turning into an earworm that threatens to turn my sanity into mush. PI's a killer no doubt, adding to my troubles in that hated game of unknowns and numbers, godforsaken math, and OAC (how I loathe, yet love that volatile activity). Yet, I must push on, I cannot let myself down just yet. I have come so far, not to fucking give up. I do not want to be exhausted, I do not wish to run, with massive stitches and tears rolling down my cheeks as the finishing line comes into view, a mile away, but I will, till I can shout "It is done!" and collapse onto the ground, sobbing like a girl from the pain and satisfaction.
The journey will be hard, life isn't easy anymore, time to drag my body and abuse it until it gets the message to stop complaining and get a move on.
I bet fate must be laughing his arse off right now, for I am now Richard, Duke of Gloucester, and the words "Despair and die!" are turning into an earworm that threatens to turn my sanity into mush. PI's a killer no doubt, adding to my troubles in that hated game of unknowns and numbers, godforsaken math, and OAC (how I loathe, yet love that volatile activity). Yet, I must push on, I cannot let myself down just yet. I have come so far, not to fucking give up. I do not want to be exhausted, I do not wish to run, with massive stitches and tears rolling down my cheeks as the finishing line comes into view, a mile away, but I will, till I can shout "It is done!" and collapse onto the ground, sobbing like a girl from the pain and satisfaction.
The journey will be hard, life isn't easy anymore, time to drag my body and abuse it until it gets the message to stop complaining and get a move on.
Saturday, April 2, 2011
FML TTM in regards to my PDP
Why the fuck did I join OAC in the first place. Can't believe a decision to just have a look at the OAC booth during the PDP selection period turned into something of hell on steroids. I am becoming fitter, and hopefully I am losing weight as well, but I keep asking myself from time to time, "You Fuckwit! Why didn't you join the Drama club like you intended to?" I must be too desperate to relive my NPCC experiences in TJC to think properly.
Whatever it is, I am starting to kick myself. Just today, which was rather fun since we got to use the school's adventure tower, I got ostracised twice, one time which was so direct that my name's on it.. Fuck them, fuck this. I am not fucking Mr Incredible (why use that as a reference? I have no fucking idea) and I do not have the proper mindset. So you think you guys can be good, fine, I will make sure I can be just as good, if not better. Even if I get screwed physically by pushing myself, I think I will gain the respect of my teammates and regain my pride.
Other than training up myself, I might as well be patient, and wait for the seniors to GTFO. At least my life would be easier then. No shits screaming at me and stuff. Besides, quitting now would be a waste, I am on my way to getting a NYAA gold anyway, and the exercise would be good for my national service.
Now, I am shit tired, better rest for a new day ahead.
Whatever it is, I am starting to kick myself. Just today, which was rather fun since we got to use the school's adventure tower, I got ostracised twice, one time which was so direct that my name's on it.. Fuck them, fuck this. I am not fucking Mr Incredible (why use that as a reference? I have no fucking idea) and I do not have the proper mindset. So you think you guys can be good, fine, I will make sure I can be just as good, if not better. Even if I get screwed physically by pushing myself, I think I will gain the respect of my teammates and regain my pride.
Other than training up myself, I might as well be patient, and wait for the seniors to GTFO. At least my life would be easier then. No shits screaming at me and stuff. Besides, quitting now would be a waste, I am on my way to getting a NYAA gold anyway, and the exercise would be good for my national service.
Now, I am shit tired, better rest for a new day ahead.
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